A close friend of mine has a light predicament...I wasn't sure how to respond to her situation. I'll explain it to you and you can let me know your thoughts/opinions.
To sum it up: Cousin #1 is taking over payments of his uncle's house. Cousin #2 lives there with her boyfriend - both paying rent. Cousin #3 lives there with her boyfriend - with only cousin #3 paying rent.
Messed up, right?
Cousin #2 (my friend) confronted cousin #1 (who is currently out of the state until January due to work) about the situation. Cousin #1 said that as long as boyfriend #2 doesn't shower there, do laundry there, have a key - it's okay. Oh, but according to my friend, he does shower there. He works the night shift so will sleep in, stay at the house even after his girlfriend leaves...and HANGS OUT. My friend's boyfriend works from home so he sees it. Boyfriend #2 has been at the house for 2 weeks straight. So, in essence, LIVES THERE.
So, the way I broke it down for her was - so, basically, your boyfriend could stay there (rent free) and it would be the same...right?
That is the summary of it. But definitely the "juice" of it.
What are your thoughts? It's completely messed up - right?
If boyfriend #2 is there, day in and day out...he should pay, just as boyfriend #1 does.
(Oh, and did I mention that since cousin #1 is out of state, cousin #3 (and boyfriend #2 who does NOT pay rent) have moved into the master bedroom...??!!)
Cousin #1 and cousin #3 are very close...so when cousin #1 was confronted last night...she went up to bat and got very defensive. Apparently cousin #1 gave permission to live in the master bedroom now because there was bathroom conflict in the morning. Which is FALSE. Cousin #3 needs to be at work BEFORE my friend wakes up. (These lies were killing me when my friend was telling me the story!)
Cousin #1 said that if my friend confronts cousin #3 to be very gentle...don't attack or point fingers or anything...because she does not handle confront well...at all.
So, basically, even though they are all family...cousin #2 is still a PAYING tenant more or less...so if she doesn't like what is happening, the situation should be eradicated. (I think.)
BUT- lets say that boyfriend #2 ceases his visits at the house...cousin #3 will be miserable. It will be like a war zone. (Because of how she is.)
So...what should I tell my friend?! Any thoughts...opinions...are welcomed!
I'm cause in a hard place because I think the situation is so petty...there are so many more serious issues to be upset about. Boyfriend #2 should just pay - plain and simple. But conveying that to him (and the cousin) would be blood shed.
Happy Monday, all! oxox
Gosh, sounds like a tough situation. I hope it gets worked out. I think maybe someone should confront the boyfriend and tell him nicely to pay rent if he is going to be staying there. =/
ReplyDeleteOh wow...that is a predicament. I agree, this whole thing could be avoided if the boyfriend would pay. I'm guessing if things can't be talked about in an adult manner, then some people will have to move in order for there to be real harmony.
ReplyDeleteI know that does't really answer your question, but I hope things get resolved soon. Good luck!
All I can say is that is a crazy situation! Good luck!
ReplyDeleteMy opinion.... Cousin 2 your friend, and boyfriend needs to move out. It will most likely keep getting messy and won't really change if two parties see nothing wrong. It will save the family relationship in the end and will take care of drama. I've been this situation more times than once and it's not a fun place to be.
ReplyDeleteIS the boyfriend paying rent somewhere else? I mean, has anyone just asked him to move in and pay rent?
ReplyDeleteI do think it's tricky, I basically lived in my boyfriends apartment before we lived together on weekends - a one night during the week, but I still paid rent on my apartment and stayed there a few nights out of the week as well.
I feel for your friend. Situations like that are always so much more difficult when it involves family.
ReplyDeleteThe short of it though, is that everyone who lives there should contribute equally, or appropriately depending on what they use and for how long. Cousin #1 should really do the right thing and require all those living there to sign a lease. That's the only fair way to go about it.
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I think living with family members (that arent your parents) is like a fight waiting to happen. I think that boyfriend #2 should be nicely confronted either pay rent or stop acting like its his house..I feel bad for cousin#3 that boyfriend #2 isnt helping her with rent. What a leech!!
ReplyDelete